Well-balanced people are more likely to encounter success. Everyone’s definition of success is different. You may equate success as work-related while someone else might define it as having a solid relationship. In the end, it doesn’t matter what kind of success you’re looking for, because the underlying mindset of a well-balanced person works in any arena.
The following list of philosophies are ways which you can also find balance in life and maintain it, regardless of what comes your way:
- I can’t control others, but I can determine how I behave.
- I can’t control everything that happens to me, but I don’t have to let it derail me.
- I’m not reliant on other people, but it’s ok to get help when I need it.
- I’m great, but I’m not everyone’s taste, and that’s ok.
I can’t control others, but I can determine how I behave.
They understand that they don’t have control over other people. They can’t define another person, or make them behave in a way which is favourable to them.
However, your behaviour is completely up to you. Just because someone is trying to push your buttons doesn’t mean that you have to respond to it, or allow it to impact your view of yourself.
It’s like that saying about wrestling with pigs; you’ll both get muddy but the pig will enjoy it. When you react to negativity from someone else, it rewards their behaviour by reducing you to a similar, shitty level.
I can’t control everything that happens to me, but I don’t have to let it derail me.
Another facet of life is about controlling your circumstances. Sometimes money will be tight, your loved ones will die at some point, and your health is not 100% guaranteed by drinking green juice.
Ups and downs are all part of life. This is what makes it an adventure, rather than a paint-by-numbers. How you relate to circumstances when they arise is very important.
Don’t be ashamed of grief, admit to being human and embrace your weaknesses, but also keep looking and moving forward. Don’t get stuck in one bad moment of your life.
Some people define themselves by their trauma. If you learn to let that go, you can find out who you are without the tragic storyline. Possibilities open up to you and the horizon is only limited by your imagination:
I’m not reliant on other people, but it’s ok to get help when I need it.
The next mindset is all about being an independent person. Some people take this too far and refuse help from anyone under any circumstances while other people take zero responsibility and are happy to use everyone in the vicinity.
As with all aspects of life, we need to understand balance. Seeking help doesn’t make you helpless or turn you into a user. You can take on responsibilities and handle difficult circumstances on your own. You need to understand your limits, work within them but also push them and sometimes other people can show you how:
I’m great, but I’m not everyone’s taste, and that’s ok.
For someone who is comfortable with themselves, they don’t really need approval from others. They might like it, but that’s not the same thing as needing it.
How others behave towards you is usually less about who you are and more about what they’re going through (unless you’re a narcissist, in which case; yes, it’s all about you). Think about someone who randomly explodes just because you said you would like sushi for lunch. A well-balance person isn’t going to be angered by your taste in food (except maybe vegans, but that’s a whole other can of soy beans right there).
Everyone has likes and dislikes. A well-adjusted person understands this and is accommodating of other people, but also doesn’t change themselves to become pleasing. It’s better to be true to yourself in the long run, than subject to the whims of others who may bestow approval on you or perhaps judgement.
You can allow others to be who they are and it is reasonable to expect similar treatment. There’s not many ways to be a “wrong” person (except psychopathy… you know what, just ignore that stuff for now). You’re not “wrong” by being you, and anyone who tries to send this message is not worth having around.
This mindset translates from business, to friendship and also into dating. It allows you to have relationships without defining the other person or yourself. We’re all free to make choices in the moment, to grow and mature throughout life.
This doesn’t mean we don’t have boundaries. Actually it’s the opposite. We know what our boundaries are, how far they can flex and when they’re being pushed. You know if you’re vibing with someone and when you aren’t so you know that you’re not going to be everyone’s flavour of ice cream. It doesn’t devalue you, it’s just personal preference:
We’re always looking for the positive aspects of life. They’re the only things we want. We don’t want the negative stuff because that’s challenging.
Really successful people aren’t phased by the flip-side of the coin. They expect it and they roll with it. They accept that life will have peaks and valleys, but without the contrast, you don’t get the same view.